You arrive on set at 9am. It’s the 4th day of filming, so your morning routine has become automatic. Grab your headset from the front desk, check the schedule, and talk to the Set Coordinator.
When you’re done, it’s time for your first real task of the day: take the actors' coffee orders. You wander the lot for a few minutes before you find the star of the film — [[Jet Li]].You’ve been a fan of Jet Li since you were little. You’ve seen everything from (text-style: "italic")[Shaolin Temple (1982)] to (text-style: "italic")[Romeo Must Die (2000)], and now your dream has come true: you got a job as a Production Assistant on the set of his upcoming film, (text-style: "italic")[The One (2001)]. You’re starstruck, but you’re doing your best to be professional when you talk to him.
[[Ask Jet Li for his coffee order]]You ask Jet Li what kind of coffee he’d like.
<center><img height="350px" src="images/jet_li.png" /></center>
“A cup of black coffee, please,” he says. “Strong.”
You probably could have guessed that. He always asks for the same thing: strong black coffee. If it’s not strong enough, there’ll be trouble — you saw another gofer get fired yesterday for giving Jet Li a too-weak cup of joe.
You head for the coffee table to [[brew the strongest pot of coffee you can]].
<center><img src="images/coffee.png" /></center>
When the coffee is ready, you pour a little bit into a cup and take a sip. It’s pretty strong, but it might be too weak for Mr. Li. Unfortunately, there aren’t any beans left. You sigh and pour a cup for the actor.
As you head back to Jet Li with the cup, you see a group of crew members sipping their own coffees. Looking around, you see that the whole crew is drinking coffee. A sea of disposable cups looms before you and the cup of coffee in your hand.
Perhaps, if it defeated the other cups, the one you hold could become [[the most powerful coffee cup on set…]]
You approach your first challenge: a half-empty cuppa held by the Key Grip. It looks scrawny -- your cup should be able to defeat it easily.
<center><img src="images/grip_coffee.png" /></center>
The cup hops out of your hand and squares up. The Key Grip’s cup follows suit, much to the surprise of the Key Grip. The cups circle each other, waiting for a command from their respective owners...
You can give your cup one of the following commands:
[[Attack|gripattack]]
[[Defend|gripdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|gripstrike]]
[[Flee|flee]]
(set: $flee to 0)You tell your cup to attack.
The Key Grip still doesn’t seem to know what’s going on, so they say nothing.
The Key Grip's cup does nothing.
Your cup attacks the Key Grip's cup and does 1 damage.
[[Attack|gripattack]]
[[Defend|gripdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|gripstrike]]
[[Flee|flee]]You tell your cup to defend.
The Key Grip still doesn’t seem to know what’s going on, so they say nothing.
The Key Grip's cup does nothing.
[[Attack|gripattack]]
[[Defend|gripdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|gripstrike]]
[[Flee|flee]]You tell your cup to perform a Viper Strike.
The Key Grip still doesn’t seem to know what’s going on, so they say nothing.
Your cup runs at the other cup and jumps into the air.
The Key Grip’s cup does nothing.
Your cup dives at the other cups and delivers a devastating blow, dealing 12 damage.
The Key Grip’s cup collapses.
You’ve defeated the Key Grip’s Cup!
[[Continue|gripdefeat]]
(if: $flee2 is 3)[You insist to your cup that it is time to flee. It returns to you, clearly embarassed by your weakness.
You carry the cup of coffee over to [[Jet Li|end]].]
(else:)[Your cup refuses to flee. Why would you tell it to do that, anyway? It’s not going to get stronger that way.(set: $flee2 to $flee2 + 1)
[[Attack|gripattack]]
[[Defend|gripdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|gripstrike]]
[[Flee|flee]]]The Key Grip looks down sadly at his cup of coffee, which has fallen over and spilled coffee on the floor.
<center><img src="images/grip.png" /></center>
Your cup hops back into your hand. It feels stronger!
You [[walk away|bestboy]], leaving the Key Grip to mourn their fallen cup.
You approach the Best Boy, who is adjusting some of the lights on set with one hand, and holding his coffee in another.
<center><img src="images/best_coffee.png" /></center>
Your cup hops out of your hand once more, and the two coffees square up. The Best Boy glances over and grins. He seems to know what’s going on, and is ready to lead his coffee cup to victory.
You can give your cup one of the following commands:
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]]
(set: $best to 0)
(set: $flee to 0)(if: $best is 0)[You tell your cup to attack. The Best Boy tells his cup to attack as well.
Your cups collide and each take 3 damage.(set: $best to 1)
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]]]
(elseif: $best is 1)[You tell your cup to attack. The Best Boy tells his cup to defend.
Your cups collide and the Best Boy's cup takes 4 damage. The Best Boy's cup looks a little unwell.(set: $best to 2)
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]]]
(elseif: $best is 2)[You tell your cup to attack. The Best Boy tells his cup to do a special attack.
Before the Best Boy's cup can start his attack, your cup hits it with a regular attack. The other cup, caught off-guard, takes 5 damage.
[[Continue|bestdefeat]]]You cup defends. The Best Boy's cup attacks, but your cup defends successfully and takes no damage.
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]]You cup charges the Best Boy's cup and jumps into the air. Your cup dives at the other cup, but the other cup defends successfully and takes no damage.
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]](if: $flee is 3)[You insist to your cup that it is time to flee. It returns to you, clearly embarassed by your weakness.
You carry the cup of coffee over to [[Jet Li|end]].]
(else:)[Your cup refuses to flee. Why would you tell it to do that, anyway? It’s not going to get stronger that way.(set: $flee to $flee + 1)
[[Attack|bestattack]]
[[Defend|bestdefend]]
[[Viper Strike|beststrike]]
[[Flee|bestflee]]]The Best Boy’s cup looks down at its body. Seeing itself in one piece, it looks up at your cup and laughs smugly. Suddenly, the cup gasps, and its body splits in two. Hot coffee spills out everywhere. The Best Boy falls to his knees and howls in memoriam of his fallen beverage.
<center><img src="images/best.png" /></center>
Your cup hops back into your hand. It’s coursing with power. Now this is a great cup of coffee! You [[move on|director]].
The director is standing by craft services, coffee in hand.
<center><img weight="350px" src="images/director_coffee.png" /></center>
Before you even approach, you can sense the weakness he’s holding: there’s at least two lumps of sugar in that thing, and he’s got a teaspoon ready to go with another. This will be a piece of cake.(set: $defeat to false)
[[Attack|directorattack]]
[[Defend|directordefend]]
[[Viper Strike|directorstrike]]
[[Flee|directorflee]]Your cup leaps into action, pummelling the Director’s. The Director’s cup takes 12 damage.
[[Continue|directordefeat]]
You tell your cup to take a defensive stance, but it knows better. The Director’s cup is wide open to attack, and your coffee presses the advantage against your orders, dealing 12 damage.
[[Continue|directordefeat]]
You tell your cup to use its Viper Strike. It leaps into action, flipping through the air without spilling a single drop. The director’s coffee takes 24 damage as it is smashed with style.
[[Continue|directordefeat]](if: $win is 0)[Flee? Why flee from such a trivial challenge?!
You can feel the liquid ambition in your cup rising. It is insulted that you would even suggest such a thing.(set: $win to 1)
[[Attack|directorattack]]
[[Defend|directordefend]]
[[Viper Strike|directorstrike]]
[[Flee|directorflee]]]
(elseif: $win is 1)[You insist that your coffee stand down and leave the director to his work. There’s nothing of worth to gain from destroying those who are weaker than you just for the sake of it.(set: $win to 2)
Jet Li taught you that, through his films and his martial arts.
[[Continue|end]]]
The director’s cup shatters into a million tiny fragments, sweet coffee and cream splattering on the floor.(set: $defeat to true)
He looks at you with anger and tears welling up in his eyes. He starts to say something, but stops.
<center><img weight="350px" src="images/director.png" /></center>
On a closer look, you notice he’s not looking at you: he’s looking at your coffee. Your powerful, beautiful cup of coffee.
He’s crying freely now, but says nothing, and turns away.
[[Continue|end]]The actors are chatting by one of the lighting rigs. The director is back in his seat, but he’s caught up in conversation with someone from craft services, and hasn’t called for anyone to take their places. There’s probably still a few minutes before they’re ready to start rolling again.
You walk up to Jet Li, who’s seemingly laughing at a joke Jason Statham just told. With no small amount of trepidation, you clear your throat to get his attention.
“Excuse me, Mr. Li?”
He looks over expectantly.
(if: $win is 2)[[["I've got your coffee."|good]]]
(elseif: $defeat is true)[[["I've got your coffee."|bad2]]]
(else:)[[["I've got your coffee."|bad1]]]Jet Li takes the cup of coffee from your hand.
<center><img weight="350px" src="images/jet_li_coffee.png" /></center>
He takes a sip, slowly. Then he spits it out on the floor.
“What is this!? I thought I asked for coffee, not lightly caffeinated water.”
[[“I, uh…”|bad1two]]
[[“Wha-”|bad1two]]“I said I take my coffee strong. This is terrible. You’re fired.”
You try to protest, but in vain. He’s already walking off, paying you no mind. The director calls for lights, and the actors retake their positions. You stand, dumbfounded, as production continues.
Security escorts you out a few minutes [[later|bad1three]].
Jet Li reaches out to take the cup of coffee from your hand, but you hesitate before giving it to him. You look down at it: The surface is a gleaming, reflective black. There’s a thin plume of white steaming off it into the cold air around you. It smells so inviting.
You can’t help yourself: It’s perfect.
You take a [[sip|bad2two]].
The One releases that November. It’s critically panned, and you can’t even bring yourself to go see it. You haven’t had a single credit to your name since you were thrown off the set, and your career is in shambles. You tried to get a side job at Dunkin Donuts to make ends meet, but they fired you too after all the customer complaints.
THE ENDJet Li takes the cup of coffee from your hand.
<center><img weight="350px" src="images/jet_li_coffee.png" /></center>
He takes a sip, slowly, letting it cool off in his mouth before swallowing. He gulps down the rest eagerly and says:
“This is [[the best cup of coffee I've ever tasted|goodtwo]].”The One releases that November. It’s critically panned, but you’re not paying attention to that. After that day, you had a hard time paying attention to anything other than the pursuit of your own The One, in coffee form. You had no way of even knowing it had released from atop your ziggurat where you stand, challenging lesser coffees.
THE ENDHe gives you a curt smile and a nod, before turning back to the set to take his place. The director calls for lights, and [[production continues|goodthree]].The One goes on to be a hit success. Well, it does OK, at least. It was critically panned, but it grossed more than double its budget (that’s not nothing!), and you really liked it. You particularly enjoy (link: "the bit near the end where they play Papa Roach’s Last Resort")[the bit near the end where they play Papa Roach’s Last Resort(open-url: "https://youtu.be/5NxekPmVvLA?t=40")]. Jet Li’s really on top of his game, and he looks so energized and fulfilled.
You watch the credits roll with pride, as your name shows up third on the list under Production Assistants.
THE END