JOBHUNT

(link-reveal: "*``*bzz*``*")[ (link-reveal: "*``*bzz*``*")[ (link-reveal: "The phone's ringing.")[ (link: "Ignore it.")[[[Answer it.->answer phone]]]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"Hello?\"")[ (link-reveal:"\"*Good morning! I'm calling in regards to your application for a recent opening with our company. Do you have a few minutes to chat?*\"")[ (link:"\"OH NO I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.\"")[[["Of course! What would you like to know?"->why]]]]]

(link-reveal: "\"*If you don't mind my asking, I'm just curious, how did you find out about this position?*\"")[ (link: "\"I'm actually desperately applying to anything that looks even remotely doable.\"")[[["It stood out to me while browsing a job-hunting site."->weakness]]] (link: "\"People who actually have their lives together have started sending me stuff to apply to.\"")[[["A friend recommended it to me due to my interest in the field."->weakness]]] (link: "\"One of my parents applied for me and then told me about it afterwards.\"")[[["A local recruiter paired me up with the opening."->weakness]]]]

(link-reveal: "\"*OK, good to know! So, what would you say is your greatest weakness?*\"")[ (link: "\"I'm awful.\"")[(set: $adj to "awful")(goto: "weakness2")] (link: "\"I'm terrible.\"")[(set: $adj to "terrible")(goto: "weakness2")] (link: "\"I'm the worst.\"")[(set: $adj to "the worst")(goto: "weakness2")]]

(link-reveal: "\"*I've got your resume here, and it looks like there's a bit of a gap between now and when your last position ended. What have you been up to in the meantime?*\"")[ (link: "\"Nothing.\"")[[["I've been fairly selective with the positions I'm applying to; I'm taking my time with each rather than mass-applying."->referred]]] (link: "\"Failing to hold down a position for longer than 2 weeks.\"")[[["I've been pursuing a number of opportunites for self-improvement."->referred]]] (link: "\"Spiraling further into depression.\"")[[["After leaving my last position, I decided to take a bit of PTO before returning to the full-time market."->referred]]]]

(link-reveal:"...")[ (link-reveal:"\"*Excuse me?*\"")[ (link-reveal:"\"Ah, sorry; lost my train of thought. What I was saying was-\"")[ (link: "\"I'm $adj at talking to people.\"")[[["I'm not great at communication. It's something I'm working on though."->strengths]]]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"*Great! First things first, why did you decide to apply to this position?*\"")[ (link: "\"I need money to live.\"")[[["It represents a unique opportunity in my career that I couldn't pass up."->gap]]] (link: "\"People look down on the unemployed.\"")[[["I'm really impressed with your company's position in the market."->gap]]] (link: "\"I don't know what else to do with my life.\"")[[["It seemed like a natural next step given my previous experience."->gap]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"*Mm-hmm... and where do you see yourself in five years?*\"")[ (link: "\"If I'm lucky, stuck in a dead-end job like this one.\"")[[["I'm really passionate about working in this field, so I'm looking forward to honing my skills and becoming an expert in this position."->bye]]] (link: "\"Probably unemployed again.\"")[[["In the short-term, I'm hoping to learn as much as possible at this position, and long-term, I hope to have the opportunity to apply that experience in future positions."->bye]]] (link: "\"To be honest, I am completely incapable of imagining a future in which I survive that long.\"")[[["Actually, part of the reason I'm attracted to this position is that the stability offered would be a great opportunity for professional growth."->bye]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"*OK, well, it was great talking to you!*\"")[ (link-reveal:"\"*I've got all the info I need; assuming things are moving forward, you'll probably be getting an email with next steps before the end of the week.*\"")[ (link: "\"I hate this and I hate you.\"")[[["Thanks for your time; I look forward to discussing this further!"->outro]]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"*Alright, have a good day!*\"")[ (link-reveal:"``*click*``")[ (link: "\"Well, that went well!\"")[[["Well, that was awful."->ending]]]]]

(link: "\"A productive start to a productive day!\"")[[["Time to lie in bed and agonize over this conversation until I fall asleep."->zzz]]]

(link-reveal:"\"zzz\"")[ (link-reveal:"\"zzz\"")[ [["zzz"->intro]]]]

(link-reveal:"\"*OK, how about greatest strength?*\"")[ (link: "\"I don't have any strengths.\"")[[["I'm very adaptable."->5years]]] (link: "\"Pretty sure I've already failed this interview.\"")[[["I pride myself on being able to tackle new problems."->5years]]] (link: "\"Feel free to hang up.\"")[[["I'm always looking for opportunities to learn or better myself."->5years]]]]